i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Your cock deserves a montage
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
