Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
