You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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