If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
