the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
