You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
