youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
