So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
