Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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