so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
