i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
