yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
