do herpes really smell.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
