he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
