i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
