i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
