he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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