he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
