I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
