Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
