Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my liver is dry heaving
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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