nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
