I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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