and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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