Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
