i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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