Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
