she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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