i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
