There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
