R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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