I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
