So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
