I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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