i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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