Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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