I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We named our party play list daddy issues
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My liver just had a heart attack.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
