I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Panties = found
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
