nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
