Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
