There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
