I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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