i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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