About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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