To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
