Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
