Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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