And the cops told us we were all naked.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
