did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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