Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
