Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
