We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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