Cold hands, warm shart.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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